Somehow, I'm still cringe.

lolmemez:

Protect physcial media! 💿

(via cicerosfavouritelistener)

official-boob-posts:

curiooftheheart:

texelations:

alivannarose:

captainlatin:

I fucking hate languages.

The Greeks had this word, right, we have no idea where it came from, it just kinda popped up out of nowhere, and it could mean either apples, cheeks, or boobs. Problem is it looked and sounded *exactly* like another, unrelated word which could mean sheep, goat, or any animal in general really, which must have got confusing if you were a farmer talking about your livestock, but anyway…

Then the Romans, having stolen practically everything else from the Greeks, thought they’d nick this word too, because Latin isn’t confusing enough without throwing in a bunch of loan words. And they adopted it to mean a pumpkin.

Then the English came along and were all like “when in Rome”, and stole it, where it became our word ‘melon’. Which has now come back to mean boobs.

How do you like them apples.

I fucking love languages.

In case anyone doubts the veracity of this:

[ source ]

Calling boobs ‘melons’ literally transcends culture, time, and language.

official boob post

(via starsmadeinheaven)

twinkenjoyer-deactivated2023071:

gallusrostromegalus:

butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway:

jouskadevil-blog:

uncanny-tranny:

Transphobes who say their pronouns are beep/boop or something else in their bio underestimate my willingness to adhere to those pronouns

I love the normalization of neopronouns for this reason. Transphobes are just gonna get their “ironic” pronouns used and respected lmao. Neopronouns users were so based for doing this.

A classmate in undergrad once tried to test me by claiming she would only agree to respect nonbinary pronouns if I used Her Majesty as pronouns for her.

She lasted 2 days before she realized I had absolutely zero problem doing exactly that and was too embarrassed to ever argue with me about pronouns in class again.

When I was working at the greenhouse, one of my coworkers was getting flustered because he was a Proper Gentleman who called everyone “Sir” or “Ma'am” and was getting genuinely heated that there wasn’t a gender-neutral honorific for nonbinary people like me.

“Well, you could always call me ‘Your Majesty’.” I said.

As a Joke.

Because in addition to looking and sounding like an older Yosemitie Sam, he took me Extremely Seriously and addressed me as “Your Majesty” for the rest of the summer. Which was hysterical because it was things like “Your Majesty? Where is the fungicide?” and *gestures at me* “You’ll have to as Their Majesty about the tomatoes.” He also would call every single person he could not immediately identify the gender of “Your Majesty” and also everyone that had neon hair.

So yes, you should absolutely rigorously adhere to someone’s pronouns (Especially if they’re unusual pronouns), because it’s respectful, because it’s clowning on assholes, and because it is fucking delightful.

have a bit of whimsy and piss off transphobes

(via cicerosfavouritelistener)

mindblownie:

something something “the Bachelor is about vision and the brain” “the Bachelor sees” vs “your justice will blind you” “your head is stuffed; your eyes sewn shut”…. no statement here just picking up things and going “hmmm”….

koboldfactory:

koboldfactory:

Record Profits

Oh also I’ve had people say this comic is inaccurate because this is the kind of talk they’d be giving to the board and let me tell you, I was a literal temp worker at a warehouse and I sat through multiple meetings just like this.

(via cicerosfavouritelistener)

langernameohnebedeutung:

bonyassfish:

asparklethatisblue:

langernameohnebedeutung:

langernameohnebedeutung:

langernameohnebedeutung:

blue-corvid:

langernameohnebedeutung:

blue-corvid:

langernameohnebedeutung:

before cooking an egg, do you poke a little hole into the shell?

no, why would I?

No. (I know the reason people do it but I don’t do it.)

yes, obviously??

Yes (I don’t really know why, though)

other/press button!/don’t like eggs/vegan/slurp my eggs raw/vanilla extract/tags

Before I… crack them open?

….before you put them in here:

the water cup even comes with a little needle at the bottom for hole-poking purposes, see:

sorry i meant boil not cook

WHAT IS THAT

It’s an egg cooker!

It’s like a toaster and an electric kettle had a baby and …the baby boils eggs.

#is this specifically a German thing#because Germans tend to have Opinions about eggs#also the only people I know who actually know how to use an egg cup are German#teach me your ways - I still don’t understand why you’d use an egg cup. and I can’t imagine boiling eggs not in a pot on the stove

no egg cup:

egg cup:

#why is the wobble an issue you pick them up one at a time shell then and eat them like not whole but just#you hold them and bite them and eat then till there’s none left? why does this need extra tools

…at this point i’m sorry to introduce…the egg spoon.

Even better news about German egg related gadgets… the Eierköpfer (it also has a super long German name), for when you need a guillotine to open your egg neatly

No offence to Germany but why are you guys so fucking insane

nothing to see here. Just normal feelings about egg.

(via cicerosfavouritelistener)

kristina100000:

starjasmines:

kristina100000:

the only thing you should care about is getting stronger arms and a stronger back nothing else matters

women matter.

sorry

(via someoneyoudontreallyknow)

zvaigzdelasas:

UPS strike: Union, UPS return to bargaining to avert strike

United Parcel Service on Wednesday said it would return to the bargaining table with a better offer for roughly 340,000 Teamsters-represente

Reuters

United Parcel Service (UPS.N) on Wednesday said it would return to the bargaining table with [its tail between it’s legs] a better offer for roughly 340,000 Teamsters-represented U.S. workers, in a bid to avert a potentially economically damaging strike on Aug. 1.

“We are prepared to increase our industry-leading pay and benefits, but need to work quickly to finalize a fair deal that provides certainty for our customers, our employees and businesses across the country,” UPS said in a statement.

UPS Bows to Teamster Pressure, Negotiations to Resume Next Week

(WASHINGTON) – As thousands of UPS Teamsters practice picket, rally, and mobilize around the country, UPS bowed today to the overwhelming sh

International Brotherhood of Teamsters

As thousands of UPS Teamsters practice picket, rally, and mobilize around the country, UPS bowed today to the overwhelming show of Teamster unity and reached out to the union to resume negotiations. The Teamsters National Negotiating Committee and the company will set dates soon to resume negotiations next week.

19 Jul 23

(via someoneyoudontreallyknow)

gayfour:

the-haiku-bot:

thisiswhymomworries:

3tno:

thisiswhymomworries:

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

tier 3 (clinical,

too formal, but not cheesy):

groin, penis, phallus

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

(via prussianbluevanilla)

gayfour:

the-haiku-bot:

thisiswhymomworries:

3tno:

thisiswhymomworries:

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

tier 3 (clinical,

too formal, but not cheesy):

groin, penis, phallus

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

(via hapalopus)